Its about 5 am and i cant sleep! Earlier tonight i made a video of my mom. She passed away on April 4th. I wish i would of spent more time with her, I took the time that I did have with her for granted and now its killing me. i cry myself to sleep every night just like I will to night I try to act like she is just away on a trip but I cant go on like this much longer. I miss her so much and the worst part is I did not get to tell her that I love her and good night the last night she was a live because When i called no one would answer there phones.
I know there was times that I would fight with her and say things that i did not mean. I just wish I could take all of the bad things back and tell her how much I love her. I did not know that it was possible to hurt this much. There is not a day that goes by that i don't cry for her and ask Why? Why her, she was such a loving person and a great mom. I just want to have my mom to hold me and tell me its going to be okay.
When I look at my little brother and that breaks my heart because he wont have her here to help him through high. If it wasn't for her I would of never done so well in school.
Maybe one of these day the pain will start to eases up , but i know that it will never be gone!
I pray that some day im half of a Mother that my mom ( Tammy Hoffman) was! RIP mommy I love you !
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